Sometimes I feel like I peaked in the third grade. Or I was just sat in my little chair, writing some brilliant story about romantic relationships between different geometric shapes like I would do when I was a smart little girl, and there was an impromptu tsunami (as most tsunamis are) that came and swept me away from the desk and through the next 12 years of my life, barely allowing me to come up for air.
Now the wave’s left and I’m shaking water from my ears. But I’ve got a lot of questions, the most pertinent being, Who Am I Now? It’s a question you can’t answer in short form, so I’ll have to assume these posts will accumulate an answer for me somewhere down the road. I’ll start strong in this one.
I do know, more or less, what I want. I want to upgrade my camera. I want a better writing environment. I want a fun group of friends in the city where I reside. I want to get better at kayaking. I want to finish school, so that the world may once again be my oyster. I want to listen to music so often that there is no song on YouTube that I have never heard. Next summer, I want to work with at-risk youth while paddling in the West. Eventually, I want to write and/or photograph for a reputable publication (Call me, Rolling Stone). And ultimately, I want to be happy.
In fact, here’s a little ditty that makes me happy today:
If you’ve turned on your TV to VHI or walked into any Urban Outfitters store anywhere in the world in the past 3 months, you’ve probably heard “Pumped Up Kicks”, a single the band Foster The People released this year. Also released this year: Their album, Torches, from which the song you are listening to derives. This particular tune stands out to me, as it’s masterfully high-spirited and unique in juxtaposition to the rest of the album.
If you have recently established a relationship with somebody, this song is your golden tune. If listened to on a regular basis, it will probably withhold the end of your honeymoon period for much longer than what is normal/natural.
If you haven’t met somebody, you probably feel like opportunity is dancing around the corner while bumpin’ this song. Nothing like a good 15 ”ooh la la’s” to help instill some enthusiasm about love. This song jubilantly sings, “You can have it too! Join me as I frolic on a grassy knoll!”
Back to solving my self-discovery mystery:
I also know what I have. I have a mother and father, half a dog (she’s 15-105 in dog years), numerous fantastic friends who have successfully scattered themselves so evenly across the globe that it would take 2 years to visit them all, a solid means of transportation (2000 volvo s70), 1 job, 1 job pending, and a home in which I may live and eat at no price (but it’s always nice to wash the dishes).
Lastly, I am aware of the challenges ahead of me. Some of them have been self-inflicted challenges, and some are just there because Life is pitching, and I’m up to bat.
On one hand, I have immediate challenges such as hospital bills, calls from debt collectors (as of today), a speeding ticket- followed by a missed court appearance, and the fact that I am merely 2 decades old and have never dealt with anything like this in my life, yet I must. Because 2/3 of these obstacles are all my fault.
I also deal with general life challenges. I have been quite fortunate on the job-finding front, but not in school. This is because school represents something for me that I have not been ready for until just this last month or so. School represents finding something I am passionate about, learning it inside and out, and later applying the information I have gained to wherever I take myself next. School represents a future. Even more horrifying, school represents focus.
But, I must start somewhere. So I’m focusing. I’m seizing the day. Today is my ‘Begin Blogging Bonanza’, and tomorrow will certainly be something else. Something else which I will share, of course.
So, who am I? Well, my name is Megan. I’m 20 years old. I’m here to discover. And I am still looking for my desk.